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| A young Mary Theresa |
My dad did not have the easiest of childhoods. As a
little boy, he lived in the home of his grandmother, Mary Theresa Sheehan
Killeen Walsh. Probably his father’s run-ins with the law over his moonshine enterprise
accounted for the financial instability that necessitated the
multi-generational living arrangements there on Charleston Avenue in Portsmouth,
Virginia.
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| The Walsh home on Charleston Avenue about 1920 |
Daddy’s aunt Helen Killeen Parker (and my grandaunt)
saved a couple letters that Mary Theresa wrote during visits with her youngest
two daughters who lived near Washington D.C. I suppose we all expect mothers to
care for their children when they are sick, are relieved when a marriage is a
happy one, and are generally just gentle and kind. The letters reveal Mary
Theresa to have been exactly that. Still, there is just something about the
tidbits of news she shared and the words she chose that make me see her more clearly.
The warmth of the greeting to “My Dear Helen” is matched
by the complimentary closing: “fond love to all, Mother” and “fondest love to
all from Mother.”
Mary Theresa’s visit in 1937 may have been prompted by the
illness of her youngest daughter Theresa, affectionately known as “Tate.”
Apparently Helen shared her mother’s worry as well, judging by the apology in
the opening of the letter: “I know you are anxious about Tate and I should have
written at once. Well She is better, no more pain nor cough and insists on doing
everything around here herself.” I sense Mary Theresa may have been amused by
Tate’s recovery: “I think Tate will be alright now. Of course she thinks my
coming cured her.”
Tate was the baby of the family and according to family
lore she was Mary Theresa’s “pet.” But Mary Theresa wanted to be fair to all
her children. Her 1936 visit was a long one – three weeks. Apparently she stayed
part of the time with Tate and part of the time with Katherine (“Kat”). “I
think now that I have seen how both girls are I will terminate my visit. Really
I have been mighty happy for nearly three weeks. Steve & Kat didn’t want me
to leave them but I had spent more time with them so I wanted to even up my
trip by staying a few more days with Jim & Tate.” “even up my trip” – LOVE that!
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| Mary Theresa's two youngest daughters and their husbands Steve and Kat Barany Jim and Tate Crewes |
Daddy always described Mary Theresa as a strong woman who
kept the family chaos under control. I see her sense of commitment to family in
the letters. When she visited Tate and Kat, she did not take the grandchildren
with her. One time, she left my father and his brother, “Sonny” and “Buddy,”
with their older cousin Evelyn, known to family as “Ebby.” “I don’t like
leaving the children too long but I had a nice letter from Ebby this morning
and they are behaving real good.”
It is obvious she was a proud grandmother who did not
hesitate to boast about my dad’s accomplishments as a 9-year old: “Helen, am
sending you the letter I got from Sonny don’t you think it is good, all the
news he put in it. Keep it for me.” Oh, what I wouldn’t give to see that
letter. Unfortunately, it did not get saved with this one from 1937.
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| Leo "Buddy" and Fred "Sonny" probably about 1937 |
Often we see our children’s good behavior and successes as
validation of our parenting. Mary Theresa certainly did not have it easy taking
care of multiple families under one roof, but somehow she kept everything
going. She was the one who made sure my dad and his brother went to school and to church. She also saw to it that they served the church as altar boys.
The church was obviously important to her. In one letter,
she expressed regret at not being able to visit with the Rosemunds longer: “They
wanted me to stay with them longer but I wouldn’t be able to get to Church.”
In the same letter she rattled off a laundry list of
activities for the day including seeing “The Prisoner of Shark Island” at the
movie theater. Afterwards they visited a Catholic church and the 5&10. Wow –
could the day get any better? Why, yes, it
could and it did. She took a long nap at the Rosemunds and afterwards they
enjoyed dinner at 8:00. In a self-deprecating way, she said, “Some class.”
The way Mary Theresa spoke of the people she met during
her visits makes me smile. As she wrote about the Rosemunds, she said, “I declare
Helen they are awful nice.” The words “I declare” make me think she must have
been especially touched by them. She also wrote with warmth about Mrs. Williams,
an employee at Tate’s husband’s place of work, who was such a good seamstress,
and Reta Greely, Tate’s good friend who “can drive real good” and took them all
around Quantico and Washington D.C.
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| Mary Theresa and Kat in Washington D.C. 1936 or 1937 (photos obviously taken on the same day are captioned differently) |
Inquiring about folks at home might be just a polite thing
to do, but Mary Theresa did more than that. Apparently Helen’s mother-in-law
suffered from frequent headaches. (I wonder if they were sinus headaches or
even migraines.) “Well I hope Mrs. Parker is getting stronger and not suffering
with her headaches. Tell her to get ready to come back with me next time I am
coming. I know she would love this place. . . .
I think it is beautiful around here.” The implied invitation and desire
to share her good times speaks volumes about the kind of person Mary Theresa
was.
Happy in Her Life
Probably the one attribute that stands out in both
letters is her satisfaction with her life. Her letters exude gratitude for
every little kindness shown her and pleasure with each outing whether it was taking
a walk or drive or seeing another movie (“It’s just grand every night a
different picture.”). Her positive view was very much like my dad’s approach to
life. He too was always optimistic in business, even the risky ventures. He too
was cheerful and positive – most of the time, anyway – and grateful for all the
blessings of his life. I think Daddy and Mary Theresa must have been very much
alike.
My dad loved his grandmother. He spoke of her always with
admiration and fondness. Oddly, he called her Mary Theresa, never Granny or
Grandmother. Maybe he just wanted to be sure we didn’t forget her name.
Amy Johnson Crow continues to challenge genealogy
bloggers and non-bloggers alike to think about our ancestors and share a story
or photo about them. The challenge is “52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks.”
Wendy
© 2019, Wendy Mathias. All rights reserved.
